Our encounter was one of those things that sometimes just happens. Call it Fate, if you will. He was a top draft pick — "#2 in the draft but #1 in your heart," he'd chuckle — a hunky 6'3" rookie linebacker out of Mississippi who I met when my friend Robin dragged me along for a night out with some pro football players — one who she knew through her ex-boyfriend but didn't want to be alone with. I went along — mostly to keep her company — &, possibly, have a somewhat entertaining evening in the process. But unexpected things do happen, & this night was no exception: from the moment Tommy & I laid eyes on each other we were gonners, & seldom apart in the months that followed.

It was so natural—everything about it was just so right that it seemed we'd been together forever. I did go back to his hotel room, but we did not engage in that furtive, first-time-sex stuff where you just ravage one another. Our love-making was sensual, tender. But then & again, everything about our relationship always was tender...

There was just one little glitch, though. He was married. Recently married. Up front with me from the git-go, he said he'd gotten a girl from college pregnant & *done the right thing* — no chance of a *happily ever after* or, for that matter, even much time for us at all… Thus, we crammed half a lifetime into the increasingly bittersweet weeks before his wife arrived in town with their 6-week-old son in tow. I'm not sure we ever did utter the word goodbye...just clung to each other & cried. Pretty tough stuff for a couple of kids to try to deal with, never mind comprehend...

We never saw each other again. I thought about him periodically over the years, mostly wondering if he ended up staying with his wife or not. Then, 5 or 6 weeks ago, I Googled both of them, oddly getting far more results for her (which I thought was weird since he’d been a pro football player). Long story short, my search produced a bit of a shocker — an article in a professional journal memoralizing Cherry, who had passed away a year & a just few days ago. And he had stayed with her after all (which proves, to me at least, that even though we'd had an affair he was & still is a man of deep conviction).

A few weeks later, when going through some old boxes, I found the pewter beer mug I'd had engraved with his nickname, the team name & year, & a line from *our song* which I'd planned on giving him before he left, but never had the opportunity to do so. I also ran across some photos that I don't think I'd really ever looked at before — one in particular was so compelling I knew I had to contact him. Here were two people who clearly adored each other, yet at the same time consumed by a pervasive sadness & longing we could never have possibly understood at our then-young ages. Even distanced by many years, the emotions I saw on our faces welled back up in me as strongly as if it had been only yesterday. These discoveries were a sign — I don't believe mere coincidence led me to search for Tommy now as opposed to five or ten years ago, or that, once I started looking, he became so very easy to find...

I could have called, because his address & number were both right there on switchboard.com, but thought it would be too great of a shock. I also doubt I could have conjured up the nerve to dial the number, listen to his phone ring, hear him say *hello,* & then say something really lame. So I've decided it's in both of our best interest to just put the mug, copies of the photos, & a friendly note with my condolences over Cherry's untimely death in the mail — as soon as I get it all pulled together.

I entertained this little fantasy about hearing back from him, wanting to see me, but have already let it go because there’s no way in hell he’s going to call in the first place, never mind want to see me. I just hope the contents of the package will bring a smile to his face &, maybe, some happy rememberances... Stay tuned!

Archives
06.25.2006 — My best friend...
06.16.2006 — Her 50 is the new 30?!?...
06.09.2006 — Laughing my ass off...
05.31.2006 — The quarterback, the linebacker...& me....
04.21.2006 — Two loves...
03.15.2006 — Farewell, dear Maxie...
12.31.2005 — Adios & farewell, '05...
07.03.2005 — I'll be seeing you...
05.30.2005 — New York City Grrls...
05.18.2005 — The blog that started it all...
Love's Illusions — poetic musings from the past...